A very un-British gentleman

It's very possible I'm not really British. If my tastes are anything to go by I'm more likely to be South East Asian. The fact that adorable wife is Malaysian is not the sole factor in this thinking. 

Firstly I do not like the definitive British take-away, fish and chips. Even when I was young I found it a bland and unappetising meal. Now, on my KSFL lifestyle, even calling it a meal seems technically inappropriate, because it can have very little nutritious value, and comes with no green vegetables. Oddly, I love the smell of chips, but I'm bored of eating them after my third bite. I love fish, but here we have a bland white fish, coated in a batter and deep fried, the antithesis of my lifestyle, and of taste frankly. Just like chips, three bites tell me all I need to know and after that I'm bored. 

So that makes me weird, because the above is an insult to British cuisine! But it gets worse...

I'll confess now, the time seems right, that I don't really enjoy a roast dinner either. That statement alone might be sacrilegious and I may be met in the streets by an angry mob once I post this. But those the brokes. 

Look, I'm sorry, but boiled vegetables, and slices of roasted meat, with gravy on the side, do not a tasty meal make. There's just too much food that tastes the same, and my buds, and my stomach demand more variety! It is possible to make a roast I'll enjoy, granted, but it would be more likely to be duck. Indeed a legendary roast that has gone down in the annals of Dale food history was a Christmas roast duck I made from a recipe in Larousse Gastronomique. This was pre-KSFL and the recipe called for the duck to be coated in maple syrup. Suffice to say the dark meat came out oozing with sweet juicy flavour. The vegetables were roasted with generous amounts of herbs and complimented the rich duck perfectly. But it was not a traditional British roast dinner, it was a French recipe from an encyclopedia of gastronomy.  

So far, so weird as far as being a Brit is concerned. Yet, I was clearly not finished, because now I have a few more British favourites to skewer! 

First, alcohol. Yup, booze, beer, cider, spirits, wine, prosecco, champagne, and liqueurs are now off my menu. I never was much of a drinker anyway. The two years prior to KSFL I had begun to increase my intake, even building a tolerance to pints. Indeed it was my stomach increasing in girth due to this pointless effort to keep pace with established drinkers that became one catalyst for wanting to get fitter. But as I fell deeper in love with the healthy options in life, I started to find I would just drink lightly on social occasions. Some days I didn't bother at all, and it made no difference to my enjoyment of the event. The crux came a few weeks ago when I was an honorary hen at a hen do for a member of the SMart group. I joined in with the drinking, though not to excess, and had a very jolly time, despite ending the night necking a couple of shots for no good reason. The next day I had no hangover and no headache.  

So what's the issue you may ask? There was no issue, that's almost the point. I didn't feel I had gained anything by consuming the alcohol, apart from the negative internal effects. Especially the shots. By the time I slugged them back I had already had enough alcohol, but I didn't refuse them. Unlike the earlier drinks, there was no pleasure from a fusion of flavours, it was just a get drunk quick hit. But I didn't want to be drunk. The night was drawing to a close and I was already in a dank nightclub dancing like an idiot.... 

It was the next week that actually solidified my thinking. The wedding party for the main hen was on the Saturday, and already I had pondered upon the wisdom of more alcohol. Moreover the location was only accessible by car and adorable wife doesn't drive. The perfect opportunity to try a night out with zero booze in the blood!  

We arrived at around 8pm and hit the dance floor not long after and barely stopped for four hours! Not a drop of alcohol was consumed, and not once did I miss it. I had a great time, danced like an idiot, and drove home sober and content. 

Sure, I'll miss the odd espresso martini, and sometimes I may eye a bottle of real still cider, and I know the occasional tipple would do no long term harm, but to be honest, I'd enjoy an affogato and an apple juice just as much, because it's the flavour I love, not the booze.  

So sorry, strike me off the list of recipients of a wine bottle at Christmas, because our household will not be able to enjoy whatever it is you have gifted. 

While you're removing gift ideas (get me assuming you had me on a list), you may as well put a big line through chocolate as a gift idea too. 

Yeah, you read that right, no chocolate! This is definitely a side effect of the KSFL lifestyle. I have got so used to leaving certain foods off the menu that my tastes have changed. I always enjoyed the bitter taste of dark chocolate over the creamy milk alternatives, and have found it easy to adapt to raw cacao products such as LoveChock. Manufactured chocolate has just become a victim of my desire to care about what goes into my body. Why lose the antioxidant benefits of cacao by stripping it out and replacing it with sugars and chemical flavouring. 

Oh god I'm becoming a hippy! 

I have been known, on occasion, to still eat a good quality slice of cake, and I do love a warm scone, so there is one very British culinary institution I'll happily indulge in as a treat, afternoon tea. But come on, clotted cream, and jam... I may be weird, but I'm not insane! 

Oh, and as a side note, I don't like football or cricket...  

In conclusion, I may have been born and bred in this land, but my DNA assuredly hails from elsewhere!