What makes an ideal partner?

Yeah I know... I'm late. Look the title does have the word procrastinator alright? Sorry.

So, after following the trials and tribulations of a good friend and her rollercoaster love life, it got me to thinking that there must be some hints and tips for what you ought to expect from a great partner.

Sure, we all want something different out of life, but there must be some universals that we all wish for from that person that we hope to spend the rest of our lives with.

Here's what I think are some top partner attributes, in no particular order:

• They don't have to like everything you like, they don't even have to pretend they do. But they will willingly accompany you to something, or watch something, that you like and they don't. And they don't whine or complain about it. In fact, they'll offer to watch or do the thing they don't like, because they know it makes you happy. 

• They don't expect you to change and they don't try to change you. If they want a different version of you, they shouldn't be with the current you.

• They change with you as time goes on. Okay, so this may sound like a contradiction after the last point, but this is different. Everyone changes, with time, with experience, with the work they do and so on. What you need is someone who goes with that flow by your side. It's no use you moving forward if they're stuck in neutral.

• Again, I don't expect them to share every interest you have, but I think it's a huge help if your very favourite past time is shared by them. You have to have something that you both look forward to doing together (apart from the obvious).

• Be a friend as much as a lover. Is this too obvious? It doesn't matter if it is! To me this is the crux of it all. You can have all the lust in the world, and have all the smouldering love you want, but a friend is someone you can rely on in tough times, someone you can laugh with, someone you can cry with, and someone you want to share your life with. That should be your partner or what the hell are you doing with them?

• They must respect your opinion. If they override your choices, belittle your decisions and push you in a particular direction against your will, they are not a partner, they are a pushy parent. This is rarely done for your benefit, it is done so you can fit the position they feel their partner ought to have. 

• In addition to above, mutual decision making must be easy. Want to eat in a restaurant? You should be able to pick one without a hassle. Want to watch movie? You should be able to choose without always compromising. Want to sleep early? Sure, go ahead! Life is short, why waste time arguing over how you're going to fill the time?

• They don't mind if you don't want to do something or go somewhere. Sure, it's great to spend time doing this that and the other, but if you aren't in the mood, why should you be pushed to get up and go? They have two choices, go out anyway, or stay with you, but whatever they choose they shouldn't make you feel guilty about the choice they ultimately made.

• Everyone makes mistakes, they will accept yours and not go on and on about them as if they never make mistakes themselves. 

• They do things without being asked. This may take time to learn, but they ought to pick up on what you like or dislike and get it sorted before you've thought to ask. Best of all is if they don't expect to be praised for their actions. Though if you want to praise them... go for it!!

There we go. That's what I can think of for now. There must be things you look for and currently have in your partner, what essentials have I missed? Obvious things, like a pulse, I have left out on purpose...